Omg Im so fucking pissed

So last night, my friends Fiance messages me on myspace, says he can get me a job making sweet cash I was like "Cool" So he tells me to meet him at this place in Orange city at noon. I get there everything seems cool. I get told I'm driving, so I'm like "K sure" I get 5 bucks of gas money, then get told "We're going to winter spings, just follow Gary" Ok, weird but ok. So we get there, (basically this job was AT&T people walking around selling AT&T which is usually the kind of people I consider the scum of the earth, so when I first realized that I was basically out anyways, but I figured, shouldn't be too long of a day then we'll just elave, I was wrong)
We hit about 3 neighborhoods.. 6 hours.
I was walking for 6 hours.. In high heel boots, cas I was told, business casual.
6 hours..
We had a half an hour break for lunch, WHICH I had to pay for myself, not even knowing I had to bring money with me in the first place. So i had A HAMBURGER
not cheesebuger HAMBURGER 89 fucking cents.
So after lunch was walking for another hour or so TIL WE GET FUCKING PULLED OVER BY A COP
Yes, a cop stopped us, and basically said, if you dont have a permit, you can't do this, you keep doing it, and I'm going to fine you.
I dont even work for these fucks and theyre getting me in trouble.
Now if that isnt the icing on the cake what is right?
NO
I have to drive all the way back you to Deltona, so Varney ( my friend who got me the "interview") could make his only sale of the day to his sister in law Tasha.. THEN
I have to drive from where PINE RIDGE HIGHSCHOOL IS, back to Orange City.
I go in, take their stupid fucking test. Guy comes back in and says "Sorry we're only looking for full time"
I FUCKING TOLD YOU AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DAY I HAVE SCHOOL SO I CAN'T WORK FULL TIME!!!! WHY COULDNT YOU HAVE TOLD ME NO 9 HOURS AGO!
So I get that big fat no, I walk out to my car, and I shit you not, just starting balling, and crying for 10 minutes, because I literally felt like I had just been raped of my time.
I have blisters on my feet, and I just wasted my entire fucking day, doing something that was getting me nothing but 5 bucks of gas money. I'm so fucking pissed.

Long time no blog

Mood: ugh.

Not to much has really happened.
Still don't know whats going on with my parents and what not..
My D&D character died on Saturday
We're just barely going to be making it to Anime Supercon this weekend.
Fun times.

So for all of you that actually read this

Mood: Just going in a downward spiral.

My dad has been offered a job in New York. There's more than a 90% chance my parents will be moving there (with my sister of course).. Business is better up there for mechanics apparently. Which is good because it's shit down here.
Me and Matt are choosing to stay here, mostly for college reasons and such.. But now that puts more stress on me now than ever, because we have to find a place to live, more than likely even people to live with us to split rent and such..
And I have no idea when this is actually going to happen, 2 weeks from now or 2 months from now I have no idea... I don't know what we're going to do.
To be honest I'm scared. I've never had to be away from my parents for more than 3 days, and now they're moving to a completely different state. I'll have no family (other than maybe matt's parents) to fall back on if we fall into a financial runt.
I always thought I'd be the one moving out of state and leaving my parents behind...
It's all very depressing.. I know it's because of the shit economy but I can't help but think that some of this is my fault for going to college while the economy is doing terrible.. Even though I'm going on my own loans, it's really gas that's killing us.. And ever since my mom quit her job and hasn't been able to find a new one yet, of course it's been even more stressful..

I really don't know what's going to happen.. I guess all I can do is hope that things work out..

It all just seems like I would be better off jumping off a bridge..
It's always funny when I get like this..
There hasn't been a year in my life that I don't have one day I just think about ending all of it.. Life is too stressful.. I don't even belong in this century! No one understands me no one understands what art even is anymore, this is a world I don't feel like I should be a part of.. I think I was reincarnated from a Renaissance sophisticate and this world bothers and upsets me. I can't stand people who can think a red dot on a piece of paper is worth 50 thousand dollars. I can't do it..
It seems like I live in my own fantasy world where all the things I wish were real are real when I close my eyes.. As silly as it may sound I want nothing more than for things in fantasy to be real, dragons, fairies, elves whatever. Something to make the world seem more beautiful.
This world is ugly. It's full of ugly people, rotten people who do anything for a dollar.
Love and Art are the only reasons fueling my engine of Living.
Without those I would die.

So tired...

Mood: La la la don't care

Srsly.
I had like the weirdest dream last night, that I have no idea why, but it scared the shit out of me.
Like.. There was this ball of light, that would randomly appear, and if you looked at it (with your eyes open of course) you just fucking died, instantly. So like if you saw a light, you had to close your eyes and like keep them closed til the noise it made went away and it was gone. I had no idea why that scared me so bad, but I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for like 40 minutes. Then I fell back to sleep and FUCKING CONTINUED THE DREAM. I hate that shit. Why can't GOOD dreams ever continue like that?
Fuck.

And of course on a day I have to wake up at 7am to go to school. And as always fucking english class ever lets out early.. Ever.

Ugh.
I'm so ready for the weekend already.

Blargz

Mood: School's lame.

I don't wanna go to school.
I'm fucking tired as shit..

I leave in like 15 minutes, and I'm not even dressed yet.

Ugh...

Mood: Ugh

So my friend was being all pissy today.
There slight plans for D&D on November 1st, but I said I couldn't go (To the DM) because me and Matt were going to be in Miami. So my friend messaged me asking why, and I said "We're going to Anime Super Con", and he was all like "Oh thanks for the invite" Then started QQing because I had Nathan, Tyler, and Colby going with us. Which quite frankly it was originally just going to be me and Matt, until we realized extra people could help with paying for room and gas, and they just happened to be the first 3 people to say anything about going. We didn't even tell anyone else that we were going, because no one knows what the fuck anime super con is.

So whatever.. I mean if he wanted to go, drive himself and most likely his girlfriend too, but no he even said "pft I'm not driving there" Well .. Sorry car full lawl.

This is why I dont publicly say I'm going to any kind of convention, because then shit like this happens, and people get all hurt and offended because I didn't ask them to go with me.

This isn't fucking AFO where we drive for maybe an hour and get out of the car and laugh and have fun
No this is fucking ASC in MIAMI that's a fucking 6 hour drive, the less people we have to worry about the better quite simply put.

So whatever.
3 other people, 5 total in one room is fine, any more is a crowd.

Couldn't sleep

Mood: Determined.

So now I'm on deviant art finding and reading tutorials on digital painting.
My newest goal is to get better at that shit.
My teacher made it rather clear that in the video game design business, the art side at least, that it's kind of a big deal.

I survived the week

Mood: Ehh

I made it through my first week back to school without going crazy or falling asleep in class, or on the way home.

Today was texture building, which wasn't too bad. Brian's a good teacher, and I'm hoping to learn more this time around.

I kinda pulled a dick move on someone today.
When I was in animation last semester there would be this kid, that would come in and do really shitty drawings on the expensive "Draw on screen" wacom tablet, when I was about to go and use it. So I was using it today, and this guy, who I thought was the same kid, asked if I was using it, and I kinda just said "Yea" Instead of being polite and getting my stuff off it so he could use it.
Then after seeing what he had up, was actually very good, I realized that it wasn't the same guy

Lesson of the day:
I can't tell black people apart

So then I get stuck in traffic the whole way home, because people are idiots and don't know how to drive in the rain.
I get home and Colby is there, though I was expecting that because Matt told me earlier he was, so it was fine.
I did end up however falling asleep and being grumpy from being tired. So oh well...

Now I've been working on a descriptive essay and kinda working my D&D character into it.
Eh.

Well I survived another Thursday

Mood: Exhausted

I don't know why I always dick myself over making Thursday's my long days at school.
Today wasn't too too bad, but it was still.. Ugh-tastic.
My first class Cultural Diversity, the class is good, theres going to be a lot of debating and racial tension I can alreayd tell ,but it fucking let out at 3pm, 2 hours earlier than it was supposed to. So I was left with 3 hours of nothing.
Until me and Juliet discovered that they finally put a TV in the cafeteria area, so we were watching that for about 2 hours, then she left, so I sat in an empty class room for about 30 minutes playing Oblivion on my laptop.
My 2nd class Interpersonal Communications was pretty good. I think this class is going to be a lot of fun. It's about how basically has human beings we need communication with other people to survive.
Then I got to come home to a crock-pot cooked roast and Amy's brownies which were amazing and totally made my day worth living.

Blarg

Mood: Oh god why.

Tomorrow is a full day
2 classes
Cultural Diversity from 1 to 5pm
Then Interpersonal Communications fro 6 - 10pm
Ugggh..
I'm bringing my laptop so I wont be bored in between classes.
Then Friday is Texture building from 1 to 6pm
Apparently that class is being taught by Brian instead of that horrid excuse for a teacher Mr. Cruz, so that's exciting, that I'll actually learn something other than my friends who had Mr. Cruz and didn't even know what UV mapping was on the 11th week during their final.
Fuck.
Tomorrow I get brownies from Amy for doing her moms wedding card.
Yeehaw brownies.

No idea why I'm so tired

Mood: *sigh*

Yesturday I woke up at around 7am to go to school, after getting atleast 5 hours total of sleep.
I went to school and came back home at 1:30.. At around 2 I passed out til dinner time, so around 6:30.
Then I fell asleep at no earlier than midnight, woke up at 4am and fell back asleep at 5, and didnt wake up til 1pm.
Lets do that math.
5+4.5+4+8=21.5
21 and a half hours of sleep since yesturday morning...
What the fuck.

Yey.

Mood: Tired

So D&D Saturday was good.
We all died. But now we're working on an Underdark campaign. Which is badass because I'm playing as my sexy Amien. Oooh yeaaaa.



School today was kinda boring.
First thing we did was take a pre-test to see if we could test out of the class, but if you pass the test, you need to write an essay then pay either 50 or 200 bucks to get out of the class.
Oh well.

My friend Jen from highschool portfolio class is going to my school, which is awesome. There were like 2 other people I knew in that class, mostly people that have been going to the school as long as I have and are retaking the class Lol.

I got home around 1:30 ( go figure I have the only teacher that keeps class until the end on the first day.) I got home, sat around for maybe 30 minutes, then passed out til basically dinner time, because someone *coughmattcough* Couldn't get to sleep all night.
I'm actually still kinda tired.

Well atleast I dont have class again til Thursday so I can be lazy for 2 days.

Going to D&D today.

Mood: Thumbs up, here goes nothing.

Apparently the main tandem isn't supposed to last too long. Then it's whatever for the rest of the day.
Guess we'll see what happens.
We're driving Colby with us, so he gets to see a preview of his commission.
Even though I'm sure there's going to be plenty of wahmbulancing like there is everytime, it should be fun.

So the kids are going back home

Mood: Dead, leave me be.

Right back to the mother who treats them like shit.
The DCF never called or came by yesturday, my mom called them this morning, and apparently the mom was out of jail and the kids were supposed to have been taken home, wonderful, thanks for calling and telling us, maybe we could've all actually had a full meal last night. Better question yet, why didn't the fucking mother come and pick up her own goddamn kids if she was out of jail yesterday? This isn't your personal holiday because the DCF took your kids away. It's a warning, straighten up or get them taken away for real next time.

(I just realized I've been spelling "Yesterday" wrong for years, I could've sworn it was "Yesturday" it just.. looks right that way)

Do these fucking people realize how hard it is right now for a family like mine, who is struggling to feed themselves, have to take in 3 other kids because they're mom is a lazy/ bitchy cunt?


My mom keeps telling my sister that Gabbie is never coming over again, and I don't blame her.
There's nothing wrong with the kids themselves, it's the fact that my sister hanging out with Gabbie apparently gives Gabbie's mom the right to shove my family into their drama fest they have going on, because Gabbie dresses goth, and her mom is a God fearing idiot.

I'll just be glad when this crap is over. My mom tries to do something nice for someone, to get their mom to just open a damn door, and because said mom is a complete fucktard, my mom gets stuck with 3 extra kids eating up our food for 2 days. I don't see how thats fucking fair.

I'm stillt trying to wrap my head around, what kind of a person you have to be to treat one of your children like that. I really don't get it... I've heard of religious people being unaccepting of their children but this is fucking ridiculous.

I hate people.

Taking in "orphans"?

Mood: Annoyed

So, my friends sister Gabbie's mother, is basically a horrid woman, everytime my mom goes to take Gabbie home, her mom obviously at the house, doesn't answer the door to let her daughter in.
So long story short, my mom got sick of it, and called the police.
Now Gabbie, and her 2 siblings are spending the night here, until child services can get out here and deal with them..
Lovely.